Overheard on the Net: Unibrows, Ancient Armenian Men
In The Nose — By Liana Aghajanian on December 7, 2009 10:49 pm
by Thomas Frederick/Creative Commons
- I love the ancient Armenian men who sit and drink espresso all day and swear at each other.
You know, it is entertaining, until you see these men on every corner in Glendale, with their clouds of cigarette smoke that follow them everywhere they go. I prefer the grandpas in the parks who do something useful. You know, like play backgammon or count beads.
- My legs may be white, but at least they’re not hairy like some Armenian dude’s ass.
Granted, you might be right, but the fact that you put this out there for the world to see makes me think you have serious issues with pasty legs. Body hair (especially the Armenian kind) has overwhelming disadvantages yes, but you’re going to wish you had some during winter. Trust me.
- Dear Armenian lady, unibrows are not cute. Even when you draw a loop dee doo. Oh wait. You didn’t draw that?
Tweezers are your best friend. They will help you in more ways than you know. That goes for you too, men. I’m going to completely digress here, but I am so tired of seeing Armenian men with intact unibrows. Why isn’t your girlfriend/wife/mistress telling you that you need to part the thick black hair that is your one, long eyebrow? The only time it’s acceptable to have a unibrow is if you live in the arctic and you need all the hair you can get, or if you decide to dress up on Halloween as Frida Kahlo like I did. When in doubt, pluck.
- Just got home from Armenian ladies hour at the post office. All orange glowy highlights, badly wrapped parcels and fleecy slacks
This sounds about right. I have nothing further to say.
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4 Comments
I must completely disagree with this article. I was actually offended by it.
First not all Armenian men smoke. And if they do smoke, that is their decision they have chosen. Most Armenian men do not curse in the presence of women. Especially hayastanci men (speaking as one). Go to Armenia, Russia, France, Argentina, Glendale, North Hollywood – and do a data analysis on the number of Armenian men cursing. Back your claims with accurate and fair data that can be challenged. If not, then your allegation should be deemed null and void
.
Second, if you are an Armenian women that has a problem with Armenians being hairy, having large noses, unibrow, etc; then you are just out of luck. I mean, think about it like this. Why should you be against it anyways? Because American culture is against these physical attributes. Well there is a reason why people look the way they do. It’s called evolution and gene pool. You cannot blame an African American for having black pigmented alleles/genes. You cannot blame an Asian for having the shape of their eyes like that. You cannot and should not blame an Armenian for their genes.
Finally we should examine the reasons of why change? In your argument, “Tweezers are your best friend.” It becomes evident that your argument is probably biased because your Perskahye, and even being to cool of even being that. I cannot blame you for beliefs and attitudes. Neither can you of mine. Unfortunately, most parskahyes in the United States have diverged from their comrades in Parskastan. The Armenians in Parskastan are one of the most patriotic Armenians out there. Them and Turkey’s Armenians have protected and preserved the Armenian culture for many centuries in the Christian islands they live in the Islamic world. You however, is inculcating that Armenians should pluck their eyebrows because it would make it easier for them to assimilate into American culture and get out of the stone age. It just hair, get over your elf and stop obsessing if they have a unibrow. That is a very chauvinistic and shallow statement on your behave.
You were raised in an American culture, and for you – this is the correct path Armenians should follow. I however, disagree. Do what you want to do. Not what others think you ought to do.
P.S. Aghajanian is a Turkic-Persian last name. Your ancestors were leaders of a village/town in the historic Armenian homeland. Agha is a title given to a leader, and jan (you probably already know what it means.) Perhaps you should change your last name to appeal more friendly the non-Uniborw, white, petite-Liberal purple bubble community you live in. Just a little footnote for you.
THANK YOU!
Hello Kilicia,
Thanks for your comment and the little footnote that I already was aware of. It seems as if you have made many of your own bias statements in your comments above – especially when alluding to the fact that I have an Iranian-Armenian background. Tweezers should be any man’s best friend, whether Armenian or not if their eyebrows are taking over their face. Men should follow grooming rules just like women. This is not an Armenian issue – it is a grooming issue.
Finally, this is just light commentary and a bit of fun, I prefer to keep patriotism and nationalism out of light heart comedy. Thanks!
I don’t understand why having thick eyebrows or a “unibrow” is a grooming issue? Some people have long hair; some short. Some have mustaches; some don’t. Your article stigmatizes a specific physical attribute. It’s a shame that you don’t understand why it’s harmful and hurtful.
None of this is offensive I dont understand where you are coming from but the only way you would find this offensive is if you have these problems are self concious and too lazy to address them its funny not offensive I enjoyed it keep writing
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