In The Nose — IANYAN Magazine

Overheard on the Net: Juicy Booty, Coffee and Carelessness

I have now discovered why Lynda has a young attractive boyfriend (Ebong, love that name). Have you seen that ass? Based on her last name, I think Lynda is Armenian. Between her and the Kardashians, I think Armenia’s main export is juicy booty. I know I just wrote an entire opinion piece on gender inequality, [...]

In The Nose 4 Comments

Overheard on the Net: Perceptions of Armenian Women

“Overheard on the Net” has been on a mysterious hiatus for some time, but don’t worry, it’s back, with more than enough virtual eavesdropping to keep you satisfied. I guess the Twitterverse got together these last few weeks and decided unanimously to direct their grievances towards Armenian women. Very odd. Shall we? An Armenian woman [...]

In The Nose 8 Comments

Overheard on the Net: Hookah, Shaved Heads and the Mafia

I was at the grocery store when a little old Armenian lady with one eye waggled a cucumber at me and made a smoochie face. #scarredforlife This is a good one. Old Armenian ladies are scary on their own, what with their quick dolma wrapping fingers and sharp tongues – but cucumber and only one [...]

In The Nose 1 Comment

Overheard on the Net: Mustaches, Glendale and Inclusivity

Before I get into this, just a friendly reminder that I am not making this stuff up. People write this. Seriously. I get pissed off when Indian and Armenian women have mustaches that would make Chuck Norris jealous. I can’t help but laugh. So many things that I “Overhear” or more accurately, “Oversee” are about [...]

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Overheard on the Net: Flashy Cars, Music and Homosexuality

The local Armenian moms of the neighborhood are all congratulating a member on her Range Rover purchase…lmao, because the Mercedes didn’t cut it. One of these days, when I have some free time on my hands, I plan to conduct some kind of semi-scientific study on why Armenians are so attracted to ridiculously expensive (and [...]

In The Nose 1 Comment

Overheard on the Net: It Isn’t Easy Being Armenian

Love and marriage, or you know, just marriage, chest hair and gold chains – it isn’t being Armenian. Just check out a few of the thoughts overheard on the net below: I’m so tired of my family and friends asking me when I am going to have a kid. Being Armenian is not easy Mom’s [...]

In The Nose 3 Comments

On Being Armenian: When Rules Don’t Apply

As any teenager can tell you, Chemistry is a dreaded yet inevitable course all students must eventually take. At my high school, junior year was when the memorization of the periodic table of elements took place. In the typical fashion of that kind of class, my antiquated teacher paired us up into lab partners, and [...]

In The Nose 2 Comments

Overheard on the Net: Unibrows, Ancient Armenian Men

I love the ancient Armenian men who sit and drink espresso all day and swear at each other. You know, it is entertaining, until you see these men on every corner in Glendale, with their clouds of cigarette smoke that follow them everywhere they go. I prefer the grandpas in the parks who do something [...]

In The Nose 4 Comments

Overheard on the Net: Princesses, Cab Drivers and Halloween

Why do all Armenian chicks try to dress like Kim Kardashian even when they weigh 300 lbs? Armenian princesses get on my nerves. Shut up before I knock you out with your own UGGs and steal your daddy’s Benz. I wish the question and comment above had a simple retort, but it doesn’t. Why do [...]

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Overheard on the Net: Hairy Chests, The Armenian Problem, Virgins

Let’s get right into these, shall we? Why do armenian men never shave their fucking chests, but always manage to miss the top 5 buttons on their shirts? leaving a chest hair pie Many, if not most Armenian men are hairy. Accept it. Learn it. Love it. Embrace it. There’s nothing wrong with being [...]