I cannot answer your questions with simple “yes” or “no”, but I will try to be as brief as possible.

1. If you ever visit any of the northern lands where the Eskimo’s dwell and stay there for a night you will be offered the wife or one of the daughter to sleep with, if you are a male, and if you are female, you will be offered to sleep with the husband or one of the sons. Is that morally or culturally acceptable? consider this, if you refuse the offer, you will most probably freeze to death in your sleep. My answer to this question is a definite no, except…

2. Do you think a man should be allowed to work as a dressing room assistant in a women’s lingerie shop? Not everybody is open to their sexuality. Some people will not even speak about it. This is a cultural influence. Some women are happy to have a male gynaecologist, others prefer a woman. In areas where there are no doctors or only one doctor, who is usually male, they have midwifes. They still exist, and not only in remote areas. I have a friend whose wife is a midwife. During birth parts of a woman’s body will be exposed that no man should be allowed to see. Yes the husband is allowed, but only in their private room and not in front of others. That is why no man is allowed in except maybe the doctor, which has been the cause for many discussions and the reintroduction of midwifes where female doctors are not available. This “decency” does not only apply to women but also men. Men should not where shorts in public. You might say that is in the old days, and today we have gone past that. What I am trying to say is yes you have gone past that to somewhere that is not culturally acceptable to us, so don’t force us to go to where you are. Here is another story that happened to one of my friends cousins in the US. He moved to the US and after a year or so he had his first son. It is the tradition, especially in his village, that the father will raise his newborn son above his head and kiss his testicles and say a few words about his place in the family. Very similar to the birth of Simba in the Lion King. And this guy did just that. The next day the police came and arrested him for child molestation and he was convicted of the crime.

3. Why do you assume that these are mutually exclusive? The psychological growth of children goes through the stages of gender indifference, recognition of gender difference, gender conflict, attraction to the opposite gender. Up to this point, the only gender role in a child’s mind is the father and the mother. If the child is in pain he/she will go to the mother. They will go to the father if the mother is not there, but what they need is a mother’s love. Whatever you do, you cannot deny or neglect that special bond between mother and child. These are true irrespective of culture. So, up to this point, we need to understand the growth of the child and help them move from one stage to the other. Gender conflict is a stage children need to go through. Denying that will be destructive to their growth. Keeping them in that stage is also destructive. A boy child in the first stage of indifference will not understand why he should not play with dolls, or a girl with toy cars. But when they get to the conflict stage, you should stop asking them why they are not playing with their old dolls or cars. Now, If I were a parent, I would prefer my children to be happy in their culturally expected gender roles. I would also expect them to rebel against some of the traditions and cultural norms (not only gender specific). After all, culture is not only defined by nation or ethnicity, but also by many other things, and age is one of them.

4. I will be using the term familial in contrast to pilisopa’s communitarian, because I believe these cultures are family oriented and the term communitarian is only used because these families tend to get very large, and resemble a community rather than the western concept of a family. A familial culture is a culture with higher familial values, which does not mean it has no individualistic values, and an individualistic culture is a one with higher individualistic values, which again does not mean they have forgone all familial values. It is a balance between the two extremes in both cases leaning slightly to one side. To answer the question, in a familial culture the head of the family, who is the oldest, the most venerable, the wisest, has the responsibility of protecting all members of the family. It is obvious that this person may not have the strength to physically protect, but has the wisdom to delegate that job to other members that can. Not to allow a member of the family, whether male or female, to go out to socialise is considered protecting that member. It is by the wisdom of the head of the family, who by the way may also be female, that the vulnerability of the person in the given situation is considered and the decision made. That is the cultural norm. This has changed with the influence of Western cultures, where the family became only the immediate family (father, mother, children) instead of the extended family (great grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, father, mother, children, grandchildren, etc.) With that, the husband became the head of the family, because in most cases he was the oldest in that family, although he may have been a young person of 20 or so, with no wisdom. He was expected to take the responsibilities of the venerable, wise head. Jealousy and stupidity started to rule the family, hence you observe something that is not really acceptable.

I do not wish to prove your hypothesis incorrect. You have recorded what is currently happening in a particular community, in a particular time, in a particular place. This is a valuable information not all of us have the opportunity to obtain. My problem is with your conclusion that we need or want to be like France, Canada, or the United States. Influence from these individualistic cultures has destroyed part of our familial culture and what is left is reduced to an unacceptable sexist, discriminatory, intolerant culture. The cultural imperialism and racism I mention is in expecting or urging us or any other culture to get rid of these sexist, discriminatory, and intolerant views by adopting the Western culture. Why not encourage the people to go back to their own values, which had the wisdom of their ancestors. They may not all be relevant in today’s world, but they can be reinterpreted within the culture instead of being replaced by a Western value.

I am sure this will open the door for more discussion, but we cannot just accept what we are given without discussing and evaluating its merits and demerits.

I do not deny the biological or anthropological differences that exist between males and females, but I do not believe this means that men are strictly confined to one way of thinking and acting and women are strictly confined to another. That said, I feel it is right to acknowledge and respect those persons whose individual differences cause them not to align with the majority.

My hope for the men and women of Armenia – and other countries, the U.S. included – is not some kind of forced equality, only the opportunity for equality.

I am aware that I can never fully understand a culture in which I was not raised. To help me increase my understanding, I’d like to pose a few questions. If you don’t mind participating in this informal survey, please indicate in your response if you are male or female and the cultural heritage with which you identify yourself.
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1. Do you believe it is morally or culturally acceptable for a married person to engage in a romantic affair with someone besides her or his spouse?

2. Do you believe a man should have the opportunity to be present during the birth of his child, if he or his partner wishes it?

3. If you are a parent, and you could choose only one of the following options, would you prefer that your children learn to fit into culturally expected gender norms or simply to be happy?

4. Do you believe that if a woman (married or not) wants to go out to socialize with her friends, she has the right to do so?
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Some of these questions may sound silly, but I ask them in all seriousness. I expect that the responses of most readers will be very similar, regardless of cultural background, and if I am correct, it will show that, to some extent, the values of Armenians and Americans are already comparable. (Is this the result of cultural imperialism?) If my hypothesis is proved incorrect, then I will have to revisit this topic, and perhaps write another essay.

I do agree with many of the concepts of the article. There are many things that need to be addressed and changed. What I don’t agree with is comparing it to the Western or American culture and striving to be like them. What you see today in Armenia is a small base of Armenain culture with a huge imposition of Soviet culture and criticism of Western culture. It is confusing even for many Armenians.

Cultural imperialism leads to racism. Why would I want to be like France or Canada or the US? Are they better than the rest? Although they stress and value individualism, if you only scratch the surface, you will find out that even they don’t believe in it, but they stand in their position and enforce others to assimilate into their culture. My question is what is there culture?

This is not only in politics and the news or articles, it is taught to children. If you don’t believe me just watch Disney movies. And I do mean the cartoons. For example take Mulan. Teaching children to disregard your culture and ancestors and follow your heart. The wisdom of centuries and millennia is worth nothing compared to the whims of your heart. How many Disney movies portray the percentage of divorce in the western culture?

The threat is not only for Armenians. It is also for the Filipino-American. The threat is everywhere. The only way to survive is to realize it and not give in to it. But that will not happen because everywhere we look we see that the Western way is the right way and the rest of us are wrong.

Pilisooa I disagree with you that the tone of articles like this is a threat. Your and my ability to respond, including others’ will put things in perspective. And this is not a result of Western culture, but is a deeply rooted part of my culture as an Armenian. Only the technology is Western.

Firstly, gender-roles should not automatically be associated with gender-discrimination or abuse. The West has lost a great amount of its gender-roles, going as far as denying actual biological differences between the sexes. The West’s massive goo of androgyny is something quite unnatural and in no way superior to a society based on gender-roles, defining the responsibilities of each.

Also, communitarian values are in no way inferior to individualistic ones. Humans are highly-social animals and denying that would be just as cruel as harsh, society-imposed, acceptable behaviors. The West suffers from the former, as individuals are isolated, depressed, monotonous and robotic in their lives, reaching out to social media as their only means of social contact and a sense of community. Armenia suffers of course from the latter, abusing the idea of gender roles, defining barriers to conduct that lead to labeling and abuse.

Lastly, on the idea of American Cultural Imperialism, Armenia suffers more of that than any “backward” gender roles. The answer is not changing Armenian society to resemble American and/or European society exactly. The answer is educate people enough for them to evolve Armenian society in a way that preserves its traditions that have kept it together for many millennia in the face of the most hostile of neighbors, both militarily and culturally. I believe the tone of articles like this, in their heir of superiority, only serve to encourage the strongest threats to Armenian culture and society; namely emigration, assimilation and loss of language, script and ideals within Armenia itself.