I wish though that we’d done some of the Armenian wedding traditions like the lavash on the shoulders, eating honey… as I see a lot of meaning in those traditions. I think though there is a difference between honoring traditions and spending lots of money on being flashy at various points in the ceremony/party.

Most Americans have lost a majority of their traditions that infuse meaning into life. It’s like we go through the motions without thinking things through. Possibly some (many?) Armenians also go through the motions without thinking through the meaning. I guess in that case the traditions become more habits.

One thing that gets me is the Armenians who immigrate to the US, take hold of the “American Dream” and really supersize their wedding and associated festivities – based upon movie/TV/celebrity visions of American weddings.

We have Armenian relatives who got married about four years ago (very flashy, limo, big hall, singer, Hawaiian honeymoon, etc.) and are STILL paying off the debt from those events. This was when the bride’s parents were both out of work, the groom had no job, the groom’s father had already been working in Russia to support his family back home in Armenia, and to this day the father is still sending money from RUSSIA TO THE US to pay off the wedding/honeymoon. What craziness is that? Keep the traditions, but keep them economical. 10 years from now you’ll be feeling the pain of having gone in debt for your big celebration but have long forgotten most of the details of same celebration…

In my personal experience, the further the couple’s generation is from the initial (family) immigration timeframe,the likelier it is the wedding won’t be an insanely outblown extravaganza. Bottom line, however, is each to their own, and if super bling is your thing, then bling it! No matter what you do, there will always be the knockers, so if you can’t please everybody, pleasing yourself for starters is a bloody good starting point!

to add a further point…. to some degree, what people think of as being excessive is what actually (maybe unfortunately, +/-) defines an Armenian wedding. If you want to be yourself and do what you want thats great, but thats not a traditional Armenian wedding, so people who do that dont want an Armenian wedding. Armenians who want Armenian weddings dont have tunnel vision, they want Armenian weddings because theyre Armenian. Theyre tyring to hang on to tradition, a terrible thing. Its like telling an Indian couple, dude Indians have tunnel vision, you all wear these funky outfits, say these funky things, haven’t you heard of a tux and a wedding dress, cant you have your weddings on the beach with no guests instead of inviting (by tradition) the whole village, open your mind, broaden your horizons, come on you Indian. Again, immigrant cultural transition. The point is, its all just custom and ritual, just like a wedding ring, changing your name, and the whole idea of marriage in the first place, oh and also that gibberish they speak at church (i.e. old Armenian)…kinda like the Vatican liturgy delivered in Latin (useless gibberish in anyone’s book, especially mine because I dont speak/understand it)

If you (collectively speaking) really want to do some good, lets get rid of the whole ritual of weddings AND marriage altogether. Its a religious institution that truly serves NO PRACTICAL PURPOSE. Civil union anyone?? Men used to use the religious institution of marriage to control women, now its completely backfired, women use it as a tool to control us tools :). Heck, if it were up to me I’d get rid of the whole of organized religion, Id leave the hairspray and dancing, that one is ok, my “frightened” neighbors will probably bring me a bundt cake the next day.

thanks for your comment. It’s funny that you mention people complaining about it, because no one I know in my immediate and non-immediate circle has ever done so, and believe me, I have probably been to more Armenian weddings than you have. And I would prefer you not make any assumptions about my marital status.

It has nothing to do with being Americanized at all, it has a lot to do with having some taste. If you enjoy the gaudiness and all that comes with it, by all means, please have at it.

And you know what? If you would prefer to get married at City Hall, then why not do it? Why is this culture always about making your parents happy instead of doing what makes you happy? Whether it’s your career, your relationships, the food you eat, or how you get married – Armenians really need to start thinking for themselves.

The more I think about it, the more I realize you missed the point of my piece completely. I am not against weddings in the least bit. In fact I love them. I even mention that I’m going to one IN the article. But I must highlight this part of my article that you probably glazed over:

“The fact I’m trying to hammer home is that Armenians have tunnel vision when it comes to weddings. It’s as if everything, from the dress, to the food, to the preparations and wedding party has to fit inside a predetermined set of conditions – God forbid we stray away from the norm and do something different, like have a smaller wedding with close family and friends who actually care about the individuals tying the knot.”

You don’t have to be like everyone else, it’s really simple. Be yourself.

And I take major offense to being compared to Glenn Beck, who isn’t even worthy enough to be the scum on the bottom of my shoe, but I guess that’s what I get for having an opinion that differs from the majority of Armenians out there.