Overheard on the Net: Unibrows, Ancient Armenian Men

by Thomas Frederick/Creative Commons

by Thomas Frederick/Creative Commons

  • I love the ancient Armenian men who sit and drink espresso all day and swear at each other.

You know, it is entertaining, until you see these men on every corner in Glendale, with their clouds of cigarette smoke that follow them everywhere they go. I prefer the grandpas in the parks who do something useful. You know, like play backgammon or count beads.

  • My legs may be white, but at least they’re not hairy like some Armenian dude’s ass.

Granted, you might be right, but the fact that you put this out there for the world to see makes me think you have serious issues with pasty legs. Body hair (especially the Armenian kind) has overwhelming disadvantages yes, but you’re going to wish you had some during winter. Trust me.

  • Dear Armenian lady, unibrows are not cute. Even when you draw a loop dee doo. Oh wait. You didn’t draw that?

Tweezers are your best friend. They will help you in more ways than you know. That goes for you too, men.  I’m going to completely digress here, but I am so tired of seeing Armenian men with intact unibrows. Why isn’t your girlfriend/wife/mistress telling you that you need to part the thick black hair that is your one, long eyebrow? The only time it’s acceptable to have a unibrow is if you live in the arctic and you need all the hair you can get, or if you decide to dress up on Halloween as Frida Kahlo like I did. When in doubt, pluck.

  • Just got home from Armenian ladies hour at the post office. All orange glowy highlights, badly wrapped parcels and fleecy slacks

This sounds about right. I have nothing further to say.



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