Overheard on the Net: Hookah, Shaved Heads and the Mafia

Creative Commons/by Thomas Frederick

  • I was at the grocery store when a little old Armenian lady with one eye waggled a cucumber at me and made a smoochie face. #scarredforlife

This is a good one. Old Armenian ladies are scary on their own, what with their quick dolma wrapping fingers and sharp tongues – but cucumber and only one eye? I would be scarred for life too.

  • Overheard: The Armenian mafia is like the Russian mafia except not as intelligent and more reactionary.

Armenian, Russian, Italian – I don’t care what ethnicity is attached to it, the world will be a much better place without any of them, although that “Goodfellas” is one hell of a good film.

  • In this city, if I shave my head, people think I’m Armenian. If I grow facial hair, I’m Mexican. If I open my mouth, I’m Canadian.

I assume “this city” refers to Los Angeles, because for better or worse, people are under a more magnifying microscope here than they are in other places. It’s interesting a “shaved head” constitutes as being Armenian, whereas usually, the stereotypical qualifiers include Adidas track suits, luxury cars and a trail of sunflower seeds.

  • okay I’m craving hookah right now…the Armenian side is coming out!

I’m at a loss for words with this one. Hookah seems to be all the craze these days, having steadily gained more popularity in the last decade, especially with the West Coast kids. In Los Angeles, there are hookah bars aplenty across the city, usually packed with Armenian, Iranian and Arabic teenagers looking to have a good time. In fact, there are some who buy their own hookahs, for personal use. There is this notion that hookah is safer than smoking cigarettes and less detrimental to health, however, hookah contains numerous toxins known to cause lung cancer, heart diseases and other diseases according to a 2005 study on hookah conducted by the World Health Organization, which added that smoking hookah is just as harmful as cigarettes. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.



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